pics by request only....

i haven't been posting lately....i've been working on day 4 of the germany trip for so long now that i feel silly.....but things happen....

like you get sick, repeatedly and at first you think it is in your head, that the pain you feel is somehow fake. and somehow being awake all night puking from the pain is your fault and not a medical condition.....and when you finally confess why you are not feeling good to your family, your mom tells you that your grandma had the same thing, only they could never find anything wrong with her......so you think, great, its all in my head.

but then super-dad shows up.....well, actually he goes out of town....and he randomly chats with a guy who has similar health issues and figures out that your gall bladder needs to be removed.
so you freak out, because you don't want to have surgery and you pretend like you aren't sick.
but you keep getting sick....you just quit telling your family....

and finally, when you are so sick for so long that your husband threatens you repeatedly, you give in a go see the doc.

and he tells you what you already know.

you need surgery.

but during the time you are told this and the time you actually have surgery about 10,000 people tell you and your loved ones that they have had their gallbladder out too and that it is "no big deal"......"no big deal".....

but when surgery day comes around and you freak out as soon as your mom and husband are out of sight, and the anesthetist gives you 'something to calm your nerves' that puts you completely out.....

then you wake up in more pain that you've ever been in. EVER. and you are so out of it that all you can say is that it hurts when the stupid nurses want you to rank your pain on a scale of 1 to 10. if i'd been more coherent i would have said about 1,000.....so the give you more meds, you think or you just fall back into a stupor only to wake up again, in horrible pain and repeat yourself....and beg for your family....but they don't let you see your family right away. nooooo......that would be "no big deal". they make you wait until you are lucid enough to move from your bed to a chair before you see your family.....so you fight the meds hard enough to become coherent enough to ask to be moved. which promptly puts you back in so much pain that you have to beg for more pain meds....and again you have to rank your pain.....but now you are scared that they aren't going to believe you that it hurts soooooooooooo bad, so you say 7. you get a shot of demerol.....

and now you are sick....the vomiting lasts from the time you attempt to sit up in the chair, get dressed, leave the hospital and lay on the couch for 3 days while your mom (bless her heart) holds your head, your hair, rubs your back and brings you a cool washcloth. puking for 3 days...."no big deal".....

when the puking stops, then it seems that you are able to notice the pain again. only this time, instead it being your stomach, its your shoulder....and there is no sleeping with the shoulder pain....

and your mom leaves.....

and you feel lonely and yucky....

but at least your mom got to come and stay and take care of you. because it was a big deal!!!!! and still is! seriously! i have no idea why people say that it is "no big deal....."

and for the really curious people out there, my mom took pics of my stomach and my 2 gall stones that they let me keep....but i thought it best to not post them here....